Let’s talk about a burnout and responsibilities a little, shall we?
Recently I’ve started to look for a new job after a pause I had taken to give myself a chance to recover from a burnout (a step that I needed to take much sooner, to be honest). During an interview a recruiter asked me „what should a company do or not do to prevent you from burning out?” And I need to say, I didn’t like the question. Not only because it kind of made me feel guilty about my burnout, but also because that is not the correct question to begin with. But what I am grateful for here is that it really made me think about the right question: „what is it I need to do to prevent myself from burning out again?”
The real reason for burning out
First of all, let’s get things straight – your burnout is your responsibility. And before you start to throw rocks my way, let me explain.
Who is here to blame?
It is easy to blame a manager or a company. The company is a mess, there are not enough employees, your manager is asking you to do too much etc. And while some or even all of those things may be true, the real question here is “have you ever tried to change things for yourself?” The common thing to do when your management is asking you to take on additional responsibility is to simply accept it. Of course, who wants to show they can’t manage? So, you keep saying “yes” as the amount of your tasks keeps growing until realistically there is no way to finish everything during 8-hour workday. And because of that you start to work overtime blaming yourself for not being able to get things done on time and your manager – for giving you all those endless tasks. But did you say “no”? The thing is, if you don’t say “no”, there is no reason not to give you additional work! Just like there is no reason to hire new team members, as long as you keep getting the work done. And yes, that’s the sad corporate true – you working overtime is not enough of a reason. As long as everything is done, there is no need to invest in new hires. However, if you set up your own boundaries and stop undertake things you don’t have time for, you can make a difference!
Give yourself a chance to relax!
Who else is being guilty for not taking vacation for more than 6 months in a raw or not being able to switch off all work-related thoughts when leaving the office? You? Well, then it makes at least two of us! There are times when you feel overloaded. You can feel the tension growing, it seams that your brain is not working anymore, it gets harder and harder to make things done. But you have so much to do! So you keep going and going, pushing yourself to the limits. Sometimes your body tries to warn you by getting sick out of sudden. It’s like “if you can’t take the pause yourself, I will make you to”. And even then some of us continue to work, because “these things are important”, “nobody else will be able to do those”, “I’ll just finish that one task and then I’ll rest” or “just let me take this one call”. In reality, the only thing you are doing, is giving yourself a reason to break. And believe me, when you do break, a week of sick-leave or vacation won’t help you anymore.
It is very important to listen to the signals your brain and body give you. In ideal, you don’t even wait for those signals – you simply book a vacation and plan a time to get some rest. When you give yourself a chance to relax, leave your computer at the office, and simply enjoy a week or two of not working, not even thinking about work, and getting your strength back, it is so much easier to deal with the stress after. And yes, I am not saying it will prevent any stress, but at least you will be able to handle it. Trust me when I say, there is no company, where you can’t take regular vacations. The issue is in your head, as you believe everything will come into ruins, if you won’t control it all the time.
So, when I say your burnout is your responsibility, what I mean is your decisions are the ones that can lead you to it. That is why it is crucial to evaluate every one of them and know, when to stop. Yes, there are situations, in which nothing you can do yourself will help, but again – there is no point in blaming others. Take the responsibility for your own mental health and leave, if it’s needed. At least, you will be sure, you tried everything.
How to take care of your own wellbeing at work
Remember the question from the recruiter I’ve mentioned at the beginning? After my own experience with burnout and all the struggle I’m facing to recover from it, at first that question made me confused and even a little bit angry. Why would you even ask something like that? But the thing is, it made me really think about everything that had happened before and after my burnout. I am always taking responsibility for my actions and I must admit – those were my actions that led me to my burnout. Yes, there were things my managers could have done better, however, I was the one making decisions such us “I will take this too”, “I will continue to push myself”, “I will deal with the stress later” etc. And those decisions led me where I am now.
So, to make sure I don’t repeat my own mistakes, I’ve made a list of things I am going to follow from now on and maybe those can help you too.
7-step guide on how to prevent yourself from burning out:
- Learn to say no. I have a strong sense of responsibility and, when it comes to work, it is extremely hard for me to say no. Which leads me to situations, where I simply have too many things on my plate, as I’d agreed to take any single addition responsibility I was asked for.
- Always listen to yourself. If you are starting to have thoughts that things are getting too hard to handle, don’t just ignore them and continue going, because you are strong and you can manage. You are not doing yourself any justice. Instead make a list of all the things you have to do (not only work-related) and see, if there is any chance to shorten the list. Maybe some tasks are simply not important and you don’t have to spend your time on them or maybe there is something that can be delegated to someone else. Which leads to the next one.
- Ask for help when it’s needed. There is no shame in asking for help. It does not show you are not able to manage something. It just shows you are self-aware and mature enough to admit you do not have the capacity to deal with everything yourself and you trust your team in their ability to support you.
- Learn to trust people. As a perfectionist I tend to think that the only way to make things right is by doing them myself. Which, at the end, only shows I have no trust in others. In a lot of cases things don’t need to be done perfectly, they just need to be done, period. If there is no difference, if the result was perfect in your eyes or not (other than your belief you would do it better), just say “thank you” to the person, who helped you get the job done.
- Never ignore physical signs! If you are starting to get sick more often or you have any pain in your body without a particular reason, if your sleep gets worse and you are starting to have issues with the ability to concentrate or remember things, those are literal signs your body is trying to tell you enough is enough. The next step is complete burnout and, trust me, you don’t want to go there.
- Take vacations regularly! No, seriously. Take regular breaks, to make sure you have chance to rest, before it’s too late already. There will always be something to do, so there is no point to wait for that „calmer time in the office”. Not so long ago I’ve read a post by Olga Kazaka on “How to charge your internal batteries” and there was a point „a week-long vacation every three months. I ensure to travel and leave my computer at home”. Such an easy thing to do, but I will admit – not at all what I was doing before. So, from now on I am planning to stick to this simple principle.
- Quit when it’s time. If you already have tried everything mentioned above and still nothing helps, it’s time to change your job. Don’t wait for a particular reason. Or a miracle, that one day you will wake up and everything will be great again, it will not. Take a break, if you need it, or simply continue your path somewhere else. People change and sometimes, when you can’t continue to grow in a direction you want to, you just need to find a place, where you can. But, to be honest, I believe that in a lot of cases, if you try all the things above, you will see the positive changes and there will be no need to change your job.
Conclusion
Burnout is a complex process and it feels different for everyone, so, probably, there is no common way to recover from it. However, there are things everyone can do, to at least try to prevent it. The recovery from a burnout is a very long and not the most pleasant process. So, trust me, when I say the best thing you can do is to simply make sure you don’t get to the point of burning out. And yes, that is easier said than done, but I hope this article will help you to take better care of yourself and find the way how to improve your mental state at work.